Hallelujah.

Scripture study was profound this morning.

Jesus, the very thought of thee.

Jesus, the very thought of thee 

With sweetness fills my breast;
But sweeter far thy face to see
And in thy presence rest.

Nor voice can sing, nor heart can frame,
Nor can the mem'ry find
A sweeter sound than thy blest name,
O Savior of mankind!

O hope of ev'ry contrite heart,
O joy of all the meek,
To those who fall, how kind thou art!
How good to those who seek!

Jesus, our only joy be thou,
As thou our prize wilt be;
Jesus, be thou our glory now,
And thru eternity.

Performed October 2013 at the Provo YSA 7th Stake Conference by Camille McAlmont, Nicolle Okoren, and Eden Wen, accompanied by Ammon Chung on the viola. Filmed very sneakily by Derik Flanary.

On Divinity.

I rarely remember my dreams, so it was bizarre that I had such a vivid one while in Iceland (last November), of all places. Perhaps it was the crisp air, or the crystal water, or the fresh music. Perhaps it was because I was surrounded by the raw elements of the earth or immersed in the minerals of the Blue Lagoon. Or perhaps it was simply the trickery of the huldufólk. Whatever or whoever it was, something triggered both my spirit and my imagination.

Jökulsárlón

*insert dream-scape jingle and filter*

It began on a tour bus, which made sense since these things were everywhere in Iceland. My bus stopped in front of a very Asian-esque, very cutesy shopping mall. Like, imagine a Sanrio-themed mall. Hello Kitty, My Melody, Badtz-Maru, etc. everywhere. Every Asian kid's dream...and apparently my dream too.

Our tour guide, a Korean woman in a dress suit and with her hair in a tight bun, welcomed us to the mall. Why a Korean woman? Good question.

"Come, and let me show you around."

12 Steps to Change.

Though the program is not unique to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the 12 Step Program is a testament to the healing power of the atonement of Jesus Christ, as seen in the lives of those in this series published by Mormon Channel (embedded below). People can conquer and change through Christ.

The wonderful thing about the program is that it is not only applicable to those with addiction. Anyone wanting to change for the better through the atonement of Christ will find this program rewarding. It will only build us up as individuals and bring us closer to our Savior.

Through the healing, enabling, redeeming power of atonement in my own life, I've found peace in pain, forgiveness in sin, and so much more goodness. I invite anyone who may be struggling with anything—addiction, sorrow, sin, loneliness, pain—to turn to Christ, for His yoke is easy and His burden is light. He will bear the burdens of life with us.

 

More from Mormon Channel.

Joy of Heaven.

In response to a month of sadness, my dad wrote:

[ . . . ] One thing that I want you to know, and that is, we must not underestimate the joy of heaven. Consider 3rd Nephi. In Chapter 10, upon the annihilation of the wicked Nephites, Christ was lamenting their destruction and loss. Indeed, great was His loss, as He had to send so many of them to their eternal damnation. And yet, atmost 3 days later, in Chapter 17:20, after seeing the righteousness of the survivors, and praying to the Father, He told the righteous Nephites, that His joy was full. How is that possible? The destruction of so many souls that He loved and died for happened so recently. How can He be joyful, not to mention, fully joyful, again just a few chapters later?

The answer, Eden, I think is that hell, with all its fury and sadness, is infinitely small compared to heaven. Hell has no power to deprive Heaven of its Joy!

Den, though hell is a sad place, and we’re experiencing some of it, let not your heart be set on it sadness. Let your heart instead be set on the Joy of Heaven! [ . . . ]

This is a gospel of truth with a plan of happiness. Christ lives, He loves us and He will never leave us alone.

It's been a while, and it's been introspective.

When I first found out that she left the church, my roommate shared a scripture with me: Alma 31:31-35. The last verse brought us to tears.

35 Behold, O Lord, their souls are precious, and many of them are our brethren; therefore, give unto us, O Lord, power and wisdom that we may bring these, our brethren, again unto thee.

Her soul is precious, but I haven't the power nor wisdom. I offered a compromise because I didn't want to lose a relationship with her and her children. "I'll respect your beliefs if you respect mine." But since then, I've needed to always be on the defensive. With constant talk coming from her, my mind started getting muddled—my sword is small, but my faith is greater than my doubts.

Everytime I was alone with her, she attacked my beliefs. And after she attacked, she came to me with an olive branch to lure me back in and give me the feeling of "Everything's good between us" or "I respect your point of view." This abuse was abused. Each attack, she would always reach out to me after. These gave me hope that she wouldn't attack again, though it made me more cautious.

But when it turned out she was furious I turned to our parents for support and told me to "Leave my parents out of my life," I began to see the patterns. And sure enough, her olive branch came. And I decided not to take it this time.

To my Illia.

My dear Illia,

Congratulations on your mission call to Denver North!

First, let me just say, I love you so so so much. Second, woohoo! Denver! And third, you know that I sometimes have a hard time expressing myself when so much passion fuels my words. So I am writing this. (Also, I am more eloquent writing than when I stutter.)

Illia, I am so incredibly proud of you and your decision to serve a mission. I just want to let you know that I love this Gospel so much. We've never really sat down a lot to talk about it, (at least, I don't remember telling you) but I want to tell you about a spiritual experience I had this past winter/spring.

Back before Easter, I experienced the horrid unfeelingness, yet perpetual sadness, of depression. After some pivotal news, I was pushed from being relatively normal to depressed, I forced an emotional barrier to surround myself. Nothing was getting through and I was not going to let petty emotions get to me. And it worked for a little bit. But when it came crumbling down, and it broke a couple times, several people witnessed many emotions at once from me. What they got mainly, though, was my sadness and a subtle anger. I hated everything and I disliked everyone.

One Sunday, my Relief Society president came up to me and asked me how I was doing. I hate public crying, but I did it. I burst into tears in front of several people, one who literally took a step back and said, "Whoa." My RS president took me to the bathroom and held me as I cried and as I told her everything. In the midst of it, she asked me if I had faith. I said that I thought I did. She told me that I needed to have faith that Heavenly Father had a plan. I scoffed internally. I wanted things fixed now. I didn't want to go through this.

But I was feeling crummy, so I took her advice and I asked for a Priesthood blessing from my home teachers. And it was...nice. (This is in no way a reflection of my home teachers at that time, but I think more of a push for more faith on my part because I am a lazy person.) But I didn't feel "fixed" and so I continued to feel the darkness of depression.

Then, a good friend came in town. That was the most beautiful Easter ever, Illia. He offered me a priesthood blessing. And at first, I said no. I thought that I already got a blessing. It just needed the time to settle in, or whatever. But the more I thought about it, the more something inside nagged at me to ask for one. I needed to exercise my faith and ask for another blessing.

General Conference, 4/2013.

(Watch here -->) gc.lds.org | #ldsconf | mormon.org

"Because Heavenly Father loves His children, He has not left them to walk through this mortal life without direction and guidance" (President Dieter F. Uchtdorf). The Prophet, Thomas S. Monson, provides that direction and guidance.

I would like to personally invite you to come listen to living prophets. I always look forward to the opportunities I have to hear counsel from God's servants and to be spiritually enriched. I know that our prophet today, Thomas Monson, communes with God and reveals His will for us.

I love this Church and I love my Savior Jesus Christ. I know that He lives. I have a testimony of His beloved gospel. It has brought me happiness and peace, it teaches what I know so passionately in my mind and my heart to be truths. These truths will be spoken of today and tomorrow during General Conference. Come listen.

Easter

They say Christ died for us in that garden and suffered for our sins and that the weight of it all squeezed the blood out of him like an olive press does to an olive. And I believe them, even though I wonder how much weight it takes to crush Jesus Christ. They say too that while he was in the garden he felt all the sadness we felt, and that because of that he can judge us perfectly. And I believe them there too. But even if you don't, I think you can still wonder about all the sadness that crushed Jesus Christ, who conquered even death. All the heartaches, the disappointments the siblings he watched die of cancer, how many tons of grain and rice and cotton he harvested until his thumbs bled, how much frostbite and all the hunger the goodbyes the miles walked away from home the cuts scrapes scars the abandonment left crying alone in your closet crawling from Tennessee to Oklahoma on your bare knees smelling the odor of your loved one's ashes of gunshots and shipping off to foreign shores and the smoke on the thirtieth floor stinging your eyes or down in that mine choking your breath and loss loss loss. It's all loss and that weight you feel in your heart that you can hardly bear. Our hearts are fragile. That weight doesn't have to be much. I don't care how you divide it, seven billion times anything is a lot, and that doesn't include all the people way back when. What would the world's sorrow weigh? I wonder sometimes if with all the sorrows trials and tribulations, if he felt all the joys too. And if he did, whether he divided it up so that he had all the trials and then could look forward to all the joys, or else if they were all mixed together like how we have it. And then I wonder if he felt the joys that came from bad things, like getting away with stealing, and if it was on the tribulation side or the joy side. And if the joys were so much that they hurt him too. The earth weighs 59,721,900,000 kg (131,664,251,759.7 lbs). It's such a big number it doesn't even matter that we are on it, the mass is still the same. They estimate 107,602,707,791 people have lived on the earth so far. And let's assume that during their whole life everyone accumulates just one pound of sorrow, then sorrow alone would be almost the weight of the world. And that's not counting all the babies waiting to be born and that's not counting all of the sins, and all the people who carry a lot more sorrow in their hearts. All the sins are just ways of keeping sorrow in your heart anyway. I'm not trying to evangelize here, I'm just saying that's a whole lot of sorrow, and a whole lot of world. But let me tell you, all the sorrow and all the pain and trial and tribulation would be a lot less heavy if we started helping each other out and lifting each other's loads. And if we stopped forgetting what each other was. Choosing sides is important, we all need to do what we think is right. But not if it makes us forget that He suffered just as much for them as he did for us. Even if you don't believe in Him don't forget that. Don't forget that everyone has a mother somewhere. Don't forget that judging someone doesn't make you any better than them, but more importantly that telling someone to stop judging you doesn't make you any better than them. Because we're all heavy, and all our hearts are creeping down our rib cage and they're going to keep creeping until we stop the dichotomies. It just makes the world heavier. It just makes us forget that it is a heavy world around us, that we got to stick together else the world's sure to cave in on itself.

Reposted from anonymousampersand.blogspot.com

Mountains to Climb.

"If we have faith in Jesus Christ, the hardest as well as the easiest of times in life can be a blessing...We never need feel alone or unloved in the Lord's service because we never are. We can feel the Love of God."

Mountains to Climb by Henry B. Eyring

mormonmessages.com

My testimony.

Today someone said, "I feel if I don't share my testimony, I'll start to lose it." I want to share mine to the whole world because I do know that Jesus Christ is my Savior and I don't want to lose that knowledge. But, I am not an eloquent speaker. Whenever fast and testimony meeting comes around each month, I start panicking because although I love this gospel so much, when I start talking in front of a group, I tend to stutter and sweat. I'm much better in one-on-one settings, and I realized today that blogging is also a way of sharing my testimony to the world while not having to get up in front of people.

This gospel is one of truth and light. Quite honestly, knowing myself and my tendencies and weaknesses, I am positive that I would be in a bad place right now were I not a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I get into ruts in the daily routine of my life and I get bummed out easily in those ruts. But I know that when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light unto me. I take comfort in knowing that He is there and that He listens. He is patient with me when I am being foolish and prideful and loves me even when I am stubborn. He rejoices in my achievements. He provides me with daily miracles. He has blessed me with a loving family and precious friends who are all incredible examples to me.

I love the scriptures. I know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God and is a companion to the Bible, and another testament of Jesus Christ. I find truth and the love of God within its pages. I know that Joseph Smith, under the direction of God, translated this book of scripture. Joseph Smith was the first prophet of the restoration and Thomas S. Monson is our prophet today.

I love my Savior and am extremely grateful for His atonement. With it, I can turn to Him when in need of solace and of repentance. I feel His love and tender mercy with every breath I take.

Christ lives.

Come listen.

"Because Heavenly Father loves His children, He has not left them to walk through this mortal life without direction and guidance" (President Dieter F. Uchtdorf). The Prophet, Thomas S. Monson, provides that direction and guidance.

I would like to personally invite you to come listen to living prophets. I always look forward to the opportunities I have to hear counsel from God's servants and to be spiritually enriched. I know that our prophet today, Thomas Monson, communes with God and reveals His will for us. Just this morning, President Monson announced that all worthy and able men can serve missions at the age of 18 (lowered from 19) and worthy and able women can serve missions at the age of 19 (lowered from 21). This is a divine revelation from a prophet of God.

I love this Church and I love my Savior Jesus Christ. With every fiber of my being, I know that He lives. I have a testimony of the power of prayer; God hears and answers them. I have a testimony of this beloved gospel; it has given me a happiness, a joy that I cannot find elsewhere.

gc.lds.org | #ldsconf | mormon.org

Happy Easter!--Celebrating it the American way.

Really quick: my blog is one-year-old as of yesterday! Moving on. Last year, I finished finals and was home to celebrate Easter. This year, I'm still in school. But no worries.

It finally hit me the other day that my family never really "celebrated" Easter. Yes, we talked about the religious aspect of it, but besides that, I only remember one year we hid eggs in the front yard, but because I was terrified of nature due to lyme-disease-ridden ticks, that was the end of that.

Oh, and I also remember from my childhood the high school field was filled with the little chocolate eggs and at the blow of a whistle, all the little kids ran the field and fought each other to gather the most eggs. Then we stopped going. I think someone was trampled? I could have dreamt that. But it was the Hunger Games. We shamelessly used our baskets as clubs as we clawed at each others' fists to grab their chocolates.

I was over at Crystal's for dinner last night and everyone at the table, with the exception of me and Crystal, receives gifts on Easter. It's like Christmas and Halloween combined! I mean, even Pope Benedict XVI got a 550 pound, 7.2 feet tall chocolate Easter egg.

As I learned yesterday (Nicolle described it to me), Easter is a very Catholic religion, in that sense. And seeing as how Southeast Asia was exposed to Christianity at a later century, we Asians don't have Easter gifts and such.

But today, I found this.

Mm. So good...and I may or may not have made this for myself.

My own Easter basket! Full of deliciousness, but alas, no new iPod (someone I spoke to yesterday got tech stuff like that for Easter).

The Christmas Story

Christmas traditions. I love them.

The days leading up to Christmas, we listen to Christmas music all day, erryday. My personal favorite? Frank Sinatra's Christmas record. Round and round it spins on the record player.

Every Christmas eve, my family and I gather around in the family room and huddle as we drink hot cocoa. We listen to the fire crackling as we watch "It's A Wonderful Life." One by one, we fall asleep to the film and by the end, we wake up to in time to sing "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" and "Auld Lang Syne" with the citizens of Bedford Falls.

Right before everyone drudges into their beds, we read the Christmas story, the birth of the Savior of the world, the birth of my Redeemer. Christmas is a time to celebrate the anniversary of that blessed birth.

It really is a wonderful life.

Oh, then we stay up the rest of the night watching "A Christmas Story;" Deck the halls with boughs of horry, fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra.

Luke 1:26-33

And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth.

To a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name was Mary.

And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, thou that art highly favored, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women.

And when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and cast in her what manner of alutation this should be.

And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God.

And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS.

He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David:

And he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Too many things. I am thankful for too many things. But I can narrow things down to the present.

Right now, I'm thankful for especially poofy jackets that make my niece's cheeks seem chubbier.

I'm thankful for the opportunities I have to travel. My parents and I officially planned for me to go to Hong Kong this summer to work, brush up on my Cantonese and learn wing chun. Obviously not for combative situations, but for speed and agility, reflexes and awesomeness. So I can be like Ip Man (below) and Sherlock Holmes. And Bruce Lee and my dad.

(From the movie "Ip Man," based on a true story, is available on Netflix; Rated R for violence.)

I'm thankful for my health. I chugged a whole gallon of orange juice last weekend in hopes that I will avoid the stomach bug (unlike last year).

I'm thankful for the power of prayer. They will be answered.

I'm thankful for people who care. For my family and their wise advice. For my sister and brother-in-law for letting me live in their home for a couple days. For my roommates, for my good friends.

I'm thankful for the goodness of God. There was this quote that was on my friend's corkboard. It said this:

God does notice us, and He watches over us. But it is usually through another person that He meets our needs. - Spencer W. Kimball

There were a couple random days when I felt completely dejected and stressed by everything. Everything happened at the wrong time. But, there was always someone out there ready to help me out whether through their words, their hugs or their music. They do not know how much they mean to me but I thank God for them everyday.

Happy Thanksgiving, my friends! Last, but most definitely not least, I'm thankful for you all!

Live with gratitude each day.

p.s. My niece is thankful for: ggggggggdsssaq15iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiicccccc                suyyyyu zxzxzzzzzzzxzzzxzzzzzzzzzzzxxxxxxxxxxxxcxzxcvbvvbvbvvbbvbvbvbvbvbvbbvbvgddddddddddfdfddffdfdfffffffdd                            11111111111111111111qqqqqqq

p.p.s. This song makes me nostalgic for something...I don't know what, but I feel happy and grateful for living a good life.

Spiritual gift of faith

Being a child of a member of the bishopric means having to hide from him in your own home in order to avoid giving a talk. Inevitably, our paths crossed and I was asked. I gave my talk today and the theme was spiritual gifts. I chose to speak on the spiritual gift of faith.
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Reading the scriptures, saying your prayers, attending church, and so on are commonly known as the “Primary answers” but there is a reason why we have been taught these from the beginning. These are the essentials for building faith in Christ; it is how we exercise our faith in Christ.

We’ve always learned that you had to first exercise faith in order to accept the gospel and receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. Spiritual gifts then come through the gift of the Holy Ghost. I was initially confused when I learned of the spiritual gift of faith. One had to exercise faith to receive the gift of faith? What is the difference between the initial faith and the gift of faith?

C.S. Lewis describes faith in The Screwtape Letters as “when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do [God’s] will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys” (40). Faith is actively acting on what you know you should do.

We also know that faith is one of the “first principles and ordinances of the gospel” (Pearl of Great Price, Articles of Faith 1:4). And Alma taught the poor in Chapter 32, our initial faith “is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true” and “any more than faith is a perfect knowledge.”

The gift of faith is a stronger, deeper faith, an almost perfect knowledge that Christ is there next to you, that if you ask, you will receive. Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, “this gift takes root in our hearts as hope and, nurtured as a seedling, will eventually flower into knowledge and bear the fruit of eternal life.”

It was the gift of faith of Alma and Amulek that caused the prison to crumble. It was the gift of faith of the three Nephites that they should not taste death. It was the gift of faith of the brother of Jared that allowed him to see the Lord.

Musings of Eden: 5/1/11

by Eden Wen

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I cannot do many things.

I cannot even draw,

Yet I love myself through and through

Since I found peace within my flaws.

For I am perfect in my imperfections,

It proves I'm merely human.

I simply have to remember this

Whenever self-doubt is looming:

That I can only grow as a person

As I overcome my faults.

God made me who I am--I'm perfect.

And thus my worries halt.

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My three influences for this poem: 

1. At church this morning, a member of the congregation talked about how he was striving for perfection, and was dejected as he knew he wasn't at that point in life. But while he dwelled on the thought, he realized that we are already perfect. "We are perfect in our imperfections."And so I stole this phrase and ran with it.

2. Tupac Shakur. I've recently finished his collection of poems, The Rose That Grew From Concrete, and it was absolutely beautiful. Every word that was written was saturated with passion. I thought to myself, I want to write like that. I want to evoke all my feelings, whether it be through music, art, literature or any medium of emotion. I want to inspire others to do the same, to influence with words, to move with words, to express with words. And though I know that I have greater potential, I hope this poem does just that.

3. Many times I catch myself comparing myself to others. This either leads to building my ego or destroying my self-esteem. In a way, I wrote this poem for myself. I need to accept my imperfections. We need to accept our own imperfections. They are what separates us, human beings, from emotionless and unfeeling robots. Yes. Um...and now I don't know how to segway into a closing...

Thanks for reading my poem, friends.

Happy Sabbath.

Happy Easter!

My family has never been big on "celebrating" Easter with the Easter baskets, the chocolates, and the rather creepy Easter bunny.

Have you been a good little child this Easter?

I mean, a fat man shimmying his way down chimneys bringing presents is more believable. My parents and the whole world had me fooled. And I believed for the longest time. Why? Because I had the same reasoning as my childhood friend Calvin.

Good logic.

On a semi-related note, I always try to go to the temple on Good Friday. 

Manhattan Temple

This year, I was not able to attend the temple since Illia did not have her recommend with her. So we wandered New York together while we waited for my parents to finish their temple session. I always like going to the temple on Good Friday because it is a perfect time for me to reflect on what was Christ has done for me. He provided us redemption from our sins. He provided us a way back to eternal life with Him and God. He provided us comfort as He has suffered all the pains and afflictions of all those who have been, who are now, and who will be on this earth. 

I hope you have a beautiful Easter. Over here at home (I love home!), it's a little overcast, but it's a wonderful day to go for a walk; I suggest you take one too, if the weather permits. And while on your walk, remember what took place on the first Easter: the resurrection of Christ the Savior, He who rose from and broke the chains of death (Matthew 28, John 20). 

Happy Easter, my friends!